What’s Wrong With The Bible? 4/24/08 -Do NOT Make Fun of Bald Christians!

Cause God’ll fuck you up!  Just read 2nd Kings 2:23-24:
“23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.”

Wow, God sure is hard-core.  These little children made fun of  his good buddy Elisha’s receding hairline and God sends not just one, but TWO goddamn bears to rip 42 children to pieces!  I’m sure they had it coming to them.  I mean, what kind of loving God wouldn’t send to giant furry killing machines to eviscerate a bunch of little kids for making fun of someone who is follicly-challenged.  I can’t count how many times I had wished for God to send a couple of bengal tigers to bite the heads off some guys who called me fat in high school.  You know, with all these religious groups wanting to insert God into schools, I think we need to stop worrying about school shootings and start worrying about school maulings.

Starbix
“Don’t Panic.” -Douglas Adams